Josh and I spent this last weekend at a training module getting trained and certified to teach a Les Mills BodyPump class. BodyPump is a barbell cardio strength class. I went into this weekend expecting to get my butt kicked and expecting to learn how to be a better teacher. What I did not expect was how much I would learn about myself. Training was 3 nine hour days complete with homework every night.
My good friend Tricia, who will be one of my instructors, summed it up best when she said that she learned she wasn't as strong as she thought she was but that she learned that she is stronger than she ever knew she was. In three days we were pushed very hard physically. It was intense! Between five full BodyPump classes, the BodyPump Challenge and technique drills we were challenged and pushed further than most of us knew was even possible.
The turning point for me was the BodyPump Challenge. We had already done a full 60 minute BodyPump class that morning along with technique drills (not to mention everything we had done the day before). Eduardo (our INCREDIBLE trainer) set up stations and put us into groups so we could spot each other during each phase of the challenge. With each exercise (squats, clean and press, bench press etc) we put at least twice the weight we normally would on our bars and discovered what we were made of! After finishing what we thought was the challenge we congratulated each other and felt pretty good that we had "made it." Then Eduardo told us that we were going to do everything all over AGAIN!
My first thought was "Yeah right." I had already given, what I thought was, my all. I had nothing left. I was done. But with Eduardo's encouragement, we loaded up the weights again and pushed through the entire challenge again. By the end I was calling to my spotter "help, help!" in order to get that weight over my head to finish the challenge. But I did it. I dug deep and discovered a part of me that I was always terrified to tap into. Maybe I was scared that it just wasn't there at all. But it was. I am stronger than I ever knew.
How often do we go through our lives determined to NOT reach our potential? How many of us have dug deep enough to truly know what we are capable of? How many times has God asked something of us and we are like "Yeah right! I have already given you my all. I have nothing left." But still He asks and we are forced to dig deep and discover who we really are. I think during that BodyPump Challenge when Eduardo was putting yet more weight on my bar for me to do squats I told him that I hated him. I have never told God that I hated him, thankfully, but I have resented what he has and continues to ask of me.
But God, like any good trainer, knows that change does not happen in our comfort zones. And heaven knows I LOVE my comfort zones. Real change happens when we are at our limits. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is one of those truths that simply is. God needs us to see ourselves the way He see us. He needs us to know who we really are when we dig down deep and surprise even ourselves.
I just might be learning how to believe in myself. It feels pretty good!
